When life's got you down...buy more chocolate

Tyia here!

Chocolate...that's kind of the subject on this blog...but there's other things in life besides chocolate. I learned that today.

I was shopping at Wal-Mart today...buying chocolate. *Blushes*

And I saw a little girl -around the age of 6- just sitting there in the rain, outside the building. It was terrible. I asked her where her parents were. She gave me the whole story.

'My name is June Long, and my Mother died when I was 3, in a horse accident. 

My Father is some where up in Tennessee, and he has cancer. 

I lived with my hideous aunt for a while, but she got really old and sent me up to Washington to live my Uncle Billy-Jo. 

I call him Ugly B behind his back. 

So Ugly B bugged me to no end, 'cause he never gave me any Jello! Boy, did I run away. 

I met a kind boy nicknamed Goober. He helped me get adopted by a woman named Jane. She always gave me Jello!'

I still remember her grin, touching her deep blue eyes. Then she had stared unseeingly at a box of bruised apples. 

'But Jane, even though she loved me, she had to go to France to live with her Grandmother who had Choco-tize.'

(Speaking of choco-tize, my case went away last week!)

'I stayed behind. I didn't want to be an annoyance. 

So I'm here, a filthy, stupid, lonely, meaningless, unwanted girl who can't even spell her own name!'

That's when she had burst into tears. This is what I did:

'I'm...so sorry.'

I looked at my bag of chocolate, then gave it to her, tears in my eyes.

'Thank you.'

She had said. Then her grin put me in a trance, and I felt dazed. I passed our right then and there, but I was still awake to hear her say, 'Succor!'

*Snorts* I don't even like succors! And she TOOK MY CHOCOLATE! 

My, oh my, she was quiet a trick. Most clever trap I've run into this month. :/

I must go now. Ta-ta!

~Tyia

P.S. If you see a blued eyed girl with blond hair, and earings made of whale bone, please comment and tell me. Just kidding! All you have to do is take her chocolate.

Life is a chocolate bar. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Good very, very, very late afternoon. It's Tyia! As you can see, I edited my blog big time. I'm not selling chocolates. It's too much work for an old woman like me.

Anyway, I'm so very tired. Maybe because my bed is lumpy? I will go check under it. I shall be right back.

Oh, my Lord! I found 12 chocolate bars underneath my mattress! I'm so happy! Oops, I just ate them all.

I think my case of Chocotize is even worse, now! My doctor said a good cure was to eat vanilla things. So I'm drinking a vanilla milkshake. :( It taste so very odd. Oh, well. Maybe it will cure me. Chocotize can be very serious, in many deadly ways.

Life's like a chocolate bar. Enjoy it while it lasts.

That's what I think when I'm having trouble keeping my new vanilla diet. Sigh. Can't it be a chocolate diet, instead?

I had the most strangest dream last night. It was very short, due to my lack of sleep. Here it is,

(I think it's a sign)

I was a child again, about 11. My friend, Arctic, and I were walking in Texas, on the street, by the mall.

My mother, Clots, was making a factory. No, not a factory, a daycare.

She called us over, no, no, no...I think she hypnotized us? Anyway, she lead us to the daycare. Then trapped us in the fluffy, colorful building that looked like a 5 year old might of designed it.

It's quite hard to explain how the place looked. But I will try. It was made of a thick Styrofoam. The grass was spray painted a rich green color. Then there were the fake logs, super glued down next to a rubber creek. The house, it was painted either a sunlight yellow, or an Arctic snow white. I'm pretty sure it was yellow. Everything had pigment, here.

Inside the house, (a very crooked looking house it was) held only the tiniest room ever. Inside that room, was a tee tiny window, a red plush couch, a small yellow bathtub, and an even smaller yellow and red sink. No toilet?

I looked out the small window. I could see the beautiful streets lit with Christmas lights, though it was October 17. I saw the busiest of people running about, wearing black or brown wool jackets. And there was snow, it almost looked like Christmastime is New York.

Then I saw the mall. The mall was huge, with a sandy color. Next to it was the small stone building that was the perfect hiding spot.

I suddenly had an idea. Arctic and I somehow managed to escape the child's prison and run into the mall. My mother was chasing us as if she were 8 years old again. We ran though the mall, always up the stairs, lit with blinding yellow lights, then through the hallways. When we got to the small stone building we ducked down and hid.

That's when I woke up. Pretty strange, eh? That's the trouble with being old.

Goodbye, dear!

~Tyia

P.S. the dream continued later on to haunted woods with vampires and a tsunami. ;)

The way of the chocolate

Good evening! This is Tyia. Good news! I just received a bunch of money, today! It's going strait to Cocoa's Ipod bank. Oh, she'll be so happy! Joy, oh joy.

Brownie is doing so much better. If you don't know what happened, read my last post. (not last last, just the post before this one)

It snowed! It's beautiful. Cocoa keeps eating it though. :( And my doctor said to cut down on the chocolate, because he thinks just a little more could give me chocatize. (chock-o-tize) I couldn't help myself...I ate just 3 more pieces. Now I'm sick as a dog and everything I look at is the color brown.

My dear co worker, Miss Dottie, can't think of anything but Nancy Drew. She must be crazy, or something. And she thinks I'm crazy because of the chocolate nonsense! Hm. I think I'm perfectly fine!

I was watching Paula Dean with my sister, La-a, (pronounced La dash a) and Paula was making macaroni. Mm...the cheesiness of the noddles and fat remind me of my graduation.

Ah, Frothy. Most angelic boy ever. He was so fat. though..and the words he chose in his sentences were cheesy. Oh, my waffles! Where were we? Oh, yes. Paula.

She was...interesting. Here were her exact words:

'Oh, it needs more butter.'

'I wish you could taste this.'

I must go, now. Enjoy the chocolate of life!

~Tyia

Chocolate photos!

Good afternoon! It's Tyia, and I decided to show y'all some incredible pictures of chocolate. :)

I have people who work for me now! I don't know if I trust them enough... the confusion has me crying tears of... joy? You know me better. Tears of chocolate.

You may click the pictures to enlarge them. Use them for your own blog... just give ol' Miss Tyia some credit, would ya?

I'm no where near having enough money to get little Cocoa an Ipod. Sigh. I have the worst headache ever, due to all her complaining. Why doesn't she just get a job, and get her own Ipod?... (Cocoa is a dog, just so you know)

Oh, and I found a squirrel eating my nuts! It was climbing up the tree, and running back down with cheeks so fat it looking like they might explode any minute.

And my cat, Brownie, got so very sick last night. I was so worried! Poor little thing. I couldn't take her to the hospital, cause she had a temperature that meant she should be dead.

Parakeets or bust! My parakeets Dove, (my favorite type of chocolate, Dove chocolate) and my twins, Mary and Melon, (initials M&M) are beautiful. But the noise... 'Chirp chirp chirp, chocolate!' That's all they say! I might pull my hair out any minute now... wait for it.

:O Ok, well never mind then. But for all we know, they might be planning something.

Oh, I must go now! Ta ta!

~Tyia

P.S. $100,000 for anyone who knows how to catch squirrels! (kidding. No money for anyone who knows how to catch squirrels! Help a little lady out here...)

Pointless.

Good evening. I'm Miss talk-ya-into-anything. A.K.A. Miss. Tyia.

My co worker, Miss Dottie (real name) told me and our office buddies that blog are extremely diffacult to do. I disagreed, and her eyes told me she didn't like that. Oh well. She'll survive.

I have a goal! I need a lot of money, or at least enough to buy my dog an Ipod. She wont stop WHINING!


Enjoy falling for the sloppy "my blog is amazing" tricks while I, Tyia, give freedom of chocolate blogs to all my well behaved fans. Observe how I used WELL BEHAVED in the sentence.

P.S. secret ingredient for being good at blogging is to sound nice! Kidding! It is! Huh. But then you'd believe me. It really isn't, though. Don't bother me with questions.